


It's Not Like That

by Skyepilot



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Eavesdropping, F/M, Flirting, Humor, Hunter is our shipper skipper, Innuendo, Mischief, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Skye's Superpowers, Sorry Hunter, Teaching, Trolling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 16:29:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepilot/pseuds/Skyepilot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skoulsonfest - Day 4. Series of ficlets based on prompts. But, of course it is, Lance Hunter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skoulsonfest2k15 - Day 4: It's not like that

"Let me guess?" Hunter said, interrupting her. " _It's not like that_."

"It's not like that," she repeated after a pause.

She shifted her hip to one side and raised her eyebrows at him.

"You just hang out in the janitor's closet?  With the Director of SHIELD?!" he asked emphatically.

"I can't really explain it further," she said, shrugging.

"Let's just see this broom closet," Hunter said, stepping past her and pushing the door inward.

He looked around inside and saw cleaning supplies, restock for the restroom and kitchen, a drain in the floor, its small sink with the hose attachment.

That was it.

"This is _a closet_ ," Hunter said, turning back around on her, as she rolled her eyes and looked away.

"Are you sure you saw what you saw?"

"You're _snogging him_ ," Hunter said, getting close enough to whisper. "Just confess. I've known it since...," he thought about it for a moment. "First Week!"

He gestured at her with his finger.

"What happened on your first week?" Skye asked dryly.

"Are you kidding?" Hunter asked, bending to put his hands on his knees for a second. "He talked about you. _Incessantly_. Who does that?  I felt like a priest in a confessional. We had a chat after Izzy's funeral and then he told me about you _in detail_."

"Like what?" she asked. "That I can be challenging? That I didn't go to SHIELD Academy?"

"Yes," he said, frowning for a moment.

"He was just helping you sort through the different personalities," she explained. "We're all very different. Coulson likes you. I'm not sure why, though."

"Oh, well, thank you. I guess we can't all be in his office everyday flickering our eyes at one another between assignments."

"Flickering?" she repeated, trying not to laugh.

"Wordless stares as though you're reading the other's mind," he spelled out.

"That's just teamwork, Hunter. You can do that with Bobbi."

"Exactly!" he said, pointing at her.

" _And_ , Mack," she interrupted.

"Not...," he dropped his hand. "It's not the same."

"Look, I'm going to share with you as much as I can," she said, leaning closer to him. "Remember when you went into the secret SSR vault?" He nodded. "With all of the files on Whitehall?"

"Yeah."

"There are _lots_ of places like that here," she said.

"Oooh," Hunter said looking back at the closet.

Skye touched her finger to the side of her nose.

"Got it," he said. "So, snogging the Director in a secret vault, then?"

"Whatever," Skye said, slapping her palms against her sides. "I give up."

"Bye," he said, waving, as she walked away.

  
***

"How long has he been doing that?" he asked, looking at the monitor feed on her computer.

"On and off for a few hours, I think," Skye said, wrinkling her nose, trying not to laugh.

They were watching Hunter go in and out of the janitor's closet, searching through the small room.

"He's not going to think this is funny," Coulson said, sitting next to her on the couch in his office, looking over her shoulder. "At any point."

"I know," she said, biting her lower lip. "Aren't you proud of me?"

"Devious," he smiled, then laughed a little, brushing her hair off her shoulder. "But, I did know you had it in you."

He bent down and kissed the spot just where her t-shirt left some bare skin along her shoulder.

"Yes, you did," she said, brushing her thumb against his knee for a moment, as he sat up straighter.

She turned over her shoulder to look at him as they locked eyes.

"Did you find us another spot?" he asked, clearing his throat, looking back at her computer. "Maybe something less...readily accessible?"

"I did," she said, pulling up a map of the base. "That old SSR map you had came in handy. This room, here," she said, pointing to the screen. "It has a series of pulleys and counterweights to unlock it."

"Have you been in it?" he asked, a little taken aback.

"Not yet," she said. "But I was going to try it this week."

"I want to make out with you, not fall into a boobytrap," he said in a hushed voice. "Ask Koenig about it first." 

"Do you really think they would boobytrap..."

" _Ask Koenig_ ," he said, glancing at the door.

"Please," he kissed her on the lips quickly, before getting up and walking towards his desk.

"Alright," she said, laughing to herself as she pulled up the feed to Hunter methodically moving supplies off the shelves.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skoulsonfest - Day 4: Imagined Innuendo

"I could do that _so_ much easier _for you_."

"Yes, but I like doing it the old fashioned way. Maybe I can teach you a thing or two?"

"Don't get too cocky just yet."

Hunter plastered himself against the wall, as he passed the corridor, ear towards the direction of their voices.  Using some dark corner of the base to...

"I'm happy to watch."

"Ha, I bet you are. I've been doing this since I was 12, you know."

Hunter almost gasped and put a hand over his mouth.

"Just slide it in the bottom, right?"

"Slowly, yes. With just the right amount of pressure."

Hunter rolled his eyes. He wasn't sure he wanted to catch them this time by the sound of things. After that stunt with the janitor's closet, he'd had enough of their games to last him awhile.

"Mmmm, how is that?"

"A little more. But not too much... Yeah, right there."

"This is kind of fun."

"Now who's getting cocky? When you're ready, you can insert this."

"I only have two hands."

Now he just wanted a way out of this. Bobbi. He needed her to hold him. Sure, he knew they were up to something, but this was too much information on his Director. And Skye. Who would have thought?!

"Here you go, you want to take this, and slide it back and forth."

"Slow enough?"

"You can go a little faster, it won't hurt."

" _Ooh_ , feels like I almost have it right where I want it."

"There's no one around to appreciate your weird sense of humor, sir."

"There's you."

"Just push it in all the way and get it over with."

"Enough!" Hunter said, coming around the corner. "I've heard enough, you should both be..."

Coulson was bent down in front of a door, hands at the lock jiggling something into the keyhole.

"Great," he said, taking his hand away. "Now I have to start over."

Hunter stared over at them as Skye stood straight and frowned at him, crossing her arms.

"What is it, Hunter?" Coulson asked sharply.

He stared blankly at both of them, eyes blinking.

"I'm teaching him how to pick a lock, Hunter. What did you think we were doing?"

"It's just," he said, pointing at the door. "It sounded."

"You really _weren't_ in the Boy Scouts," Coulson said, looking appalled, and replacing the tools in their pouch.

"Whatever. Embarassed. Leaving now."

He turned on his heel and kicked his shoe against the wall before walking on.

"Hunter," Skye said, shaking her head after him as Coulson handed her her lockpicking kit.

"You know," Coulson said, standing up, and dusting off his knees. "I could've just use this," he said, taking a device out of his pocket. "SHIELD developed it, uses magnets to..."

"That's not a skill," Skye said, gently pushing him aside. "Besides," she said, putting her hand to the lock.

He watched as the metal vibrated and came loose, falling to the floor. She smiled and turned the handle and opened the door, waving him in with a hand.

"Show off. We're going to have to fix that, you know," Coulson said, looking back at the door, pocketing the device.

"Take it out of my paycheck," she said, shutting the door, as he pressed her up against it.

"I don't pay you," he said, nudging at her neck with his mouth.

"Take it out of somewhere else, then."

He stared back into her eyes, and then smiled and kissed her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skoulsonfest2k15 - Day 4: heart rate

"There you go, it's okay. It's okay."

He had heard voices in the gym and came in. It was late, waaay past everyone's bedtime.

In the near darkness, he saw the outline of someone on the floor, heard the shift of bodies.

A tiny light came on. He couldn't make it out, but he supposed that it was the wrist monitor Skye wore glowing in the dark.

There was a sad sigh and he saw them in outline.

Her hands were wrapped around his neck.

"I don't want to be like this," he heard her say, her voice raspy and tired-sounding.

"It's not your fault, Skye."

His tone with her was heartbreakingly gentle. So, he was right, the Director was a softy after all.

"Can you stay with me? I feel safe when I'm with you."

Lord, maybe he had this all wrong? After all this poor girl had been through, being pushed away by Coulson, having to watch him being taken over by some alien city, meeting a father she didn't want any part of, losing Trip on top of it all.

No wonder the poor girl was falling apart. She was probably trying not to break down.

" _Always_."

Bobbi had some interest in Coulson. In that city and probably Skye as well, now. It had to do with the alien stuff. He knew she was into something, but not what.

Coulson was just trying to protect the girl all along.

Awww, it was so sweet, really.

Maybe he even thought of her like a daughter...

"I thought we were trying to lower your heartrate, Skye."

He sounded a little irritated, but not quite.

"This works better than yoga. For me, anyway. Nothing like getting my Director on his back."

"You're terrible."

He said it with a dirty chuckle!

Pair of bloody, rotten, lowdown...

He knew it! He knew it! He fumed for a moment. Just how was he going to do this? Payback at some later time? No, no, he was going to play the scold now. Right this minute, before they devised another scheme out of it.

"Hello!" Hunter yelled. "Anyone there?!!!"

It got very quiet.

"Just thought I heard some _snogging going on!_ "

The sound of muffled laughter erupted.

"Assholes," Hunter said under his breath.

"GO AWAY HUNTER!" Skye yelled.

Coulson's twittering laugh joined hers.

"Very professional, both of you! Does Agent May know that you're sneaking around and shagging in odd places all over the base?"

"We spent a lot of time in the backseat of that SUV before you and Morse got back together," Coulson said.

"Ha ha," Skye said.

"Disgusting," Hunter said. "You both owe me. Very much so."

"Everyone gets to be right once, Hunter. Congratulations," Coulson said after him, before cracking up again just as he reached the door.

"Oh, shit," Coulson said, brushing a tear out of the corner of his eye. "We shouldn't stay here."

"It's not like he's coming back," Skye said, straddling him again.

"Hmm," he said, touching his hand to the side of her face. "No."

"You know what really, _really_ relaxes me?" she said, starting to unbuckle his belt.

"I can only imagine."

 


End file.
